Merry Christmas From the Stock Market

Remember it isn't the Grinch who stole Christmas it is the economy!

What I am looking for in a boyfriend from match.com

I find being treated like poop a turn-on. I often look for a boyfriend that likes to sleep with other people, because I personally enjoy being treated with that little respect. I like boys who don't like me back and like to play mind games. I am looking for someone who wants no sort of commitment, but has no problem sleeping with me when convenient for him. I like doing things for boyfriends who do not appreciate them or me. I also enjoy being called babe or little one especially in public places, because it is nice to use terms of affection before you go home from the bar with someone else. Please do not return my phone call, text messages or emails for days because that makes me feel really confident in not only our relationship but also in myself. Great guys and liars need only to apply.

It was just my birthday!

MY LIVING WILL

Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her,'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all,no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.

Cartoons speak louder than words!

No on Prop 8

What is Politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is Politics?”

Dad says,

“Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so! We call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.”

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what his Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”

The little boy replies,

“The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.”